


Silence

by barnesj



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bathtubs, Bubble Bath, Consensual, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Friendship/Love, Hurt Bucky Barnes, I Made Myself Cry, I'm Sorry, Mention of sex, My First Work in This Fandom, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Touching, bucky doesn't know how to talk about feelings, but neither does the reader, hurt reader, mention of Steve Rogers - Freeform, reader/bucky barnes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 16:45:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8808331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barnesj/pseuds/barnesj
Summary: It was always anything but normal. You weren't sure when it started or how, but you look at him now wondering just what kind of shit storm you've gotten yourself into. 
"It's been a long day," he sighed stepping towards you "let's take a bath together." He put his hands on either side of the counter boxing you in. You really need to learn how to say no to this man.  How many times had you been here? Twice? Ten times? Fifty? 
"We're more than just friends and you fucking know it." You spoke softly, scared that if you said it too loud he'd hear just how truly desperate you are. Silence.





	

It was always anything but normal. You weren't sure when it started or how, but you look at him now wondering just what kind of shit storm you've gotten yourself into. You knew immediately when he closed the door to your apartment that he had a rough day. Sometimes he would come home like this and it would always end up the same way. You two, limbs intertwind, laying silently in the comfort of your bed with only the sound of heavy breaths to keep your thoughts at bay. 

He ran his hands through his dark hair as he slumped against the kitchen wall, eyes gazing at you intently. You knew that look all too well. 

"It's been a long day," he sighed stepping towards you "come take a bath with me." He put his hands on either side of the counter boxing you in. You really need to learn how to say no to this man. 

Taking his hand in yours, you lead him down the hallway, listening to the soft patter of your bare feet and the heavy heels of his boots harmonizing. As you start the water, his metallic fingers ghost over the hem of your sweatpants. You stand up, back towards him, you listen to the sound of clothes pool around your feet. How many times had you been here? Twice? Ten times? Fifty? The number didn't matter anymore, it was about being with him. 

It started out innocent, like all things do. You needed a roommate and so did he. Steve felt comfortable knowing he was safe with you and you felt good knowing you and your roommate were going to get along. Next thing you know you found yourselves tangled in each other searching for some sense of normalcy in sex. But you fucked up like you always do. You fell in love with damaged goods knowing he could never give you what you wanted and now your here, sitting in a bathtub tangled in his arms. 

Your eyes fluttered as his right hand trailed the curves of your body. Lower. Lower. Lower. His hand stopped abruptly and turned your face towards him wanting to look you in the eyes. You hadn't even noticed you'd been crying until he wiped away the salty tears falling down your face. He opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off. 

"We're more than just friends and you fucking know it." You spoke softly, scared that if you said it too loud he'd hear just how truly desperate you are. Silence. 

"James..." he liked the way you said his name. Like it was a secret reserved for your lips only. Silence. 

Shutting you out was what he was good at and you knew it. You closed your eyes. Silence. Nothing was ever going to change. In the end the silence was better than rejection. If only you were different maybe he would love you back. If only you were better maybe he would love you back. If only life was different maybe he would love you back. If only. This was oh, so unhealthy and you knew it, so why were you still here? Well, it's kind of like reaching for a star. You know you're never going to reach it but maybe someday it will fall down. Silence.

********************* 

The morning light shines through the windows as you untangle yourself from the sheets and from him. Here you were again, reaching. You feel the familiar aching in your chest as you watch him sleep. It's never going to change. Silence.

**Author's Note:**

> not too sure how to feel about this. It is my first work so please bare with me. Please comment your thoughts and any suggestions! thank you for reading! :))))


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